xoxo,
It's another Saturday night, and I am anxiously checking Facebook every 10 seconds, I have my phone lying patiently on my pillow and my laptop volume is on full blast just in case the Skype video chat alert rings. I'm waiting for my boyfriend. He's going out late at night with his friends, and I have to get up at 5 a.m. to work out at the gym; our lives and schedules are completely different, and there are times when we do talk, we don't say more than 5 sentences to each other. Our love story is one of longing and "I miss yous," and we haven't been together even six months!
Let me start at the beginning. Zach (my boyfriend) is from the Jersey Shore, and I am from the heart of Texas. We both ended up in a small liberal arts college in Boston. Not only that, but our dorms rooms were miraculously right next to each other. Not to get New-Age corny on you, but it seems as if we were brought together by an undeterminable force. After the introductory "getting-to-know-you" period, the flirting and his bumbling crush-confession, we started dating. With each passing minute, we became more and more serious and started falling in love. With summer beating on the front door, our temporary goodbye was imminent, but we tried to ignore it the best we could to focus on the happy times in front of us. Zach (like most guys) was stuck in the here and now, but I was way off in the future worrying about whether we were strong enough to sustain an extended long-distance relationship. I knew this summer would not be so sweet for me. Then, three months into the relationship, Zach dropped me off at Logan Airport, and I gave him one last kiss (that elicited quite the stares from other travelers) and reluctantly headed back home.
The beginning was rocky, of course. Hey, life is fine and dandy when your boyfriend lives next door and is there to comfort you or whisk you off on a date to the North End at the second of your choosing! This was going to take some getting used to. But 10 weeks into the separation, we're going strong. Yes, they're are bad days, and times where you feel like you want to give up, but you just to have faith in the love you have cultivated together and find the determination to keep it strong.
Here on some tips on how we're getting through our relationship day-by-day and 3,000 miles apart.
1). ACCEPT CHANGE
Your relationship is going to be different than it was when you were together. Not necessarily, a "bad" different, but be flexible and open to change, for it is inevitable.
2). RECOGNIZE THAT COMMUNICATION IS KEY
This is true even when your sweetie is close to you, but holds an irreplaceable importance when you are far apart. Don't keep any relationship problems you're having to yourself. The sooner the issue is resolved, the less resentment you will build toward your boyfriend/girlfriend. I've told Zach that "our whole relationship is based on communication now." People these days are busy, whether it's working from the office, running errands, or maintaining an active social life. No one has the time or patience to sit by the phone waiting for their call with bated breath. That being said...
3). SET UP A SCHEDULE
Sure, spontaneity is romantic, but with the aforementioned busy schedules, a couple really needs to have a time period to sit down and talk for at least an hour. And just to make the separation a little more bearable, I suggest getting a web-chat account with Skype or iChat. Make sure that time is YOUR time. Sit in a quiet place and focus, really LISTEN to each other. And when you are not talking to each other, send cute little texts during your lunch break to let the significant other know that they aren't very far from your mind.
4). SURPRISES ARE THE BEST EVER
Talking every day becomes kind of habitual, and can feel like a chore sometimes, and also just saying "I love you," doesn't really compare to actually showing it. Send a bouquet of Lilies of the Valley, write a heartfelt love note snail-mail style or leave a singing telegram in their voicemail. Maybe a sexy text message or email...why not? Do fun, light-hearted things that break you from your norm and send a really strong message.
I'm not an expert. I feel funny giving advice, because I feel like readers are glaring at me through the computer screen going "What in the hell do you know about anything?" Not much, really. But I'm in the middle of this situation, and I feel it's therapeutic for me to share my feelings and a few things that I have learned.
Credit: dominant-male.blogspot.com
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