Ah, Happen Magazine. I love these people. Really mainstream dating advice that's so watered down it's useless or just plain inaccurate. See this article, "Are you dating a player?" The author, Dustin Goot, gives us the 5 signs of a player versus 5 signs of a nice guy. Here's me taking him to task...
5 signs of a player
-He's bold.
True, all players are bold. This is totally a good thing. I mean, who wants a shy guy? Beta. Shy equals wussy. Shy equals indecisive. Shy equals lousy in the sack. Nuff said.
-He declares his feelings right away.
Bullshit! Big time! Players do not make sweeping statements of affection, because we know this doesn't work. Not only that, but players are chill and cool, and if we're really good, we might not actually feel attraction for a woman because she hasn't proven to be worth our affections. Physical beauty alone does not impress us.
Goot also mentions that it's normal for a guy to be guarded about his emotions. Right, wussy guys. Players are actually excellent at articulating emotions and have fewer problems communicating than regular dudes. That's part of being a social master.
-He always plans romantic dates.
Dude, you're kidding, right? What crappy chick flick did you get this from? We DO NOT plan romantic dates, ever, at all, because that shit doesn't work. If you're lucky we won't make you pay our bar tab before we have sex with you in the club bathroom.
-He has lots of acquaintances, no close friends.
Again, total bullocks. I don't even see how friendships are relevant to playerism. I guess Goot is suggesting that players are so shallow that they can't maintain platonic relationships. Whatever. Players have plenty of friends. We usually have more friends than normal, chodey dudes. This includes female friends. We're cool guys. People want to be around us.
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