Treating Stress & Burnout - Mindful Power
In this article I will highlight how mindfulness and meditation are related to resilience, self regulation and purpose,- three fundamental pillars to sustain resourcefulness, as well as mental,- emotional,- and spiritual wellbeing. Drawing on research as well as direct personal experience, mindfulness and meditation prove to be of great value to programmes aimed at preventing, as well as healing the effects of overwhelming stress and burnout.
"IN THE SECOND LAST PARAGRAPH OF THIS ARTICLE, YOU ARE DIRECTED TO FREE MINDFULNESS AND MEDITATION RESOURCES."
Studies indicate that mindfulness practices and meditation are known to reduce stress (Davidson, 2010, Malinowski, 2008). With burnout resulting from persistent stress (Cartwright & Cooper, 1996), clearly mindfulness and meditation will be helpful in treating as well as preventing burnout. Burnout has been referred to as a 'soul sickness' (Wright, 2010, p 8.), where one reaches a point of being sick and tired of being sick and tired, but oblivious of any solution. A common aspect of burnout are dysfunctional attitudes and behaviours that are disengaged from the present moment (cited in Dierendonck, Garssen & Visser, 2005). This is similar to what (Brown Kelley, 2005; Meiklejohn "et al"., 2012; Irving, J. A., Dobkin, P. L., Cohen- Katz, Wiley, Capuano, Baker, Mackenzie, Poulin, & Seidman-Carlson, 2006). Mindfulness has also been associated with the enhancement of well-being, since it is known to enable people to disengage from unhealthy, automatic behavioural patterns (Ryan & Deci, 2000). Their view is supported by Brown & Ryan's (2003) research which indicates that higher levels of mindfulness are correlated with the lower level of stress and mood disturbance, and will therefore contribute to improving resilience.
MINDFULNESS IN RELATION TO SELF REGULATION
Bonanno's (2004) research suggests that all human beings with unhampered mental health have an innate capacity for resilience and well-being even while facing adversity (cited Kelley, T, 2005, p. 265). According to Ciarrochi, Chan, Caputi, and Roberts (2001), difficulty identifying feelings is likely to predispose an individual to poorer mental health. Various studies support the idea that an individual with a greater ability to identify their emotions will be able to regulate those emotions better (cited in Barrett, L. F., Gross, J., Christensen, T. C., & Benvenuto, M., 2001, p. 721). Inherent in mindfulness approaches is the ability to adapt and regulate one's thought's, feelings and actions according to the situation (Baliki, Ceha, Apkarian, cited in Niemiec, Rashid, Spinella, 2012). Rather than perceiving mental and emotional states as fixed, the mindful approach identifies their impermanent nature and treats them as transitory phenomena (Kabat-Zinn, 1990; Segal, Williams, Jacobs, T. L., "et al." (2011), research done by Jacobs, T. L., "et al." also indicates that meditation is known to promote a sense of meaning and purpose in life (2011). Their study suggests that meditation may facilitate an expanded assessment of one's life as meaningful, which in turn may influence one's assessment of challenging situations, resulting in improved self regulation and enhanced resilience to stress. This idea is in alignment with former research verifying that the perception of meaning is associated with better stress management (e.g., Okamoto "et al.", 2007). Additional evidence shows that when stressful situations are infused with a purposeful meaning, the result is more adaptive stress responses and better psychological coping (e.g., Bower "et al.", 2008). The link between mindfulness and purpose may offer particular value to burnout treatment programmes, since burnout is associated with a deficit in existential meaning and purpose (Frankl, 1963; L"angle, 1994). A central purpose in a person's life is suggested to influence the thoughts, emotions, and actions of that person, as well as enhance that person's resiliency in in stressful situations (cited in McKnight & Kashdan, 2009).
There are apparently similar outcomes when comparing approaches that are motivated by a strong sense of purpose and those of mindfulness in contrast to no sense of purpose or mindlessness. Comparing the research cited in McKnight common outcomes appear to be: an improved ability to understand and cope with stress, enhanced resilience, more adaptable self regulation, as well as a generally elevated psychological, physical, and social well-being. In addition to considering the complimentary factors that are associated with both purpose and mindfulness, there are attributes of both that are not shared, for example: inherent in purpose is a broader motivational component driving the achievement of goals which support that purpose (McKnight while inherent in mindfulness is nonjudgmental awareness of experiences in the present moment (Kabat-Zinn, 1990), as well as the possibility of insight into the true nature of existence (Olendzki, 2010). These characteristic differences between purpose and mindfulness can also be viewed as complimentary resources that may be supportive in the pursuit of dealing holistically with stress issues and burnout. In their discussion on the attributes of purpose, McKnight Overdurf, 2013). Those who are familiar with the technique to facilitate "peripheral vision" report that it takes only a few minutes to learn, it can be applied in any place at any time of day, and the benefits of using it begin to take effect within a few seconds of applying the technique (reported by NLP course participants). On this basis, "peripheral vision" may be of particular use to busy people who don't have time to formally meditate, or those who are sceptical of Eastern practices, and especially those who might be at risk of being effected by stress or burnout. Furthermore, I have personally found that the establishment of "peripheral vision" serves as a useful expediency to access deeper levels of meditation, and when brought to one's tasks and interactions, it facilitates a mindful approach.
"TWO WAYS TO LEARN "PERIPHERAL VISION" FOR FREE: Watch the video where I teach "peripheral vision" at a live NLP training - HERE. Get your copy of the Cool, Calm ">.
Written by Jevon Dangeli - NLP Trainer ">.
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Irving, J. A., Dobkin, P. L., and Park, J. (2009). Cultivating mindfulness in health care professionals: A review of empirical studies of mindfulness-based stress reduction (MBSR)."Complementary Therapies in Clinical Practice, 15".
Jacobs, T. L., Epel, E., Lin, J., Blackburn, E., Wolkowitz, O., Bridwell, D., et al. (2011). Intensive meditation training, immune cell telomerase activity, and psychological mediators. "Psychoneuroendocrinology, 36(5)," 664-681.
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Malinowski, P. (2008). Mindfulness as psychological dimension: Concepts and applications. "The Irish Journal of Psychology, 29," p157.
Meiklejohn, J., Phillips, C., Freedman, L., Griffin, M. L., Biegel G., Roach A., Frank, J., Burke, C., Pinger, L., Soloway, G., Isberg, R., Sibinga, E., Grossman, L., Saltzman, A., (2012). "Integrating Mindfulness Training into K-12 Education: Fostering the Resilience of Teachers and Students. "Springer Science and Business Media, LLC
Niemiec, R., Rashid, T., Spinella, M. (2012) Strong Mindfulness: Integrating Mindfulness and Character Strengths. "Journal of Mental Health Counseling. Vol. 34. No. 3."240-253.
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Segal, Z., Williams, M. and Teasdale, J. (2002). "Mindfulness-based cognitive therapy for depression: A new approach to preventing relapse. "New York, NY: Guilford.
Siegel, D. (2007). "The Mindful Brain: Reflection and Attunement in the Cultivation of Well-Being".W. W. Norton.
Teasdale, J. D. (1999). Metacognition, mindfulness and the modificafion of mood disorders. "Clinical Psychology and Psychotherapy, 6, "146-155.
Varela, F.J., Thompson, E., Rosch, E. (1991). "The embodied mind. "Cambridge, MA: MIT Press.
Some years ago I was at a small working conference of four women and eight men. Instead of concentrating on the discussion I found myself looking at the three other women at the table, thinking how each had a different style and how each style was coherent.
One woman had dark brown hair in a classic style, a cross between Cleopatra and Plain Jane. The severity of her straight hair was softened by wavy bangs and ends that turned under. Because she was beautiful, the effect was more Cleopatra than plain.
The second woman was older, full of dignity and composure. Her hair was cut in a fashionable style that left her with only one eye, thanks to a side part that let a curtain of hair fall across half her face. As she looked down to read her prepared paper, the hair robbed her of bifocal vision and created a barrier between her and the listeners.
The third woman's hair was wild, a frosted blond avalanche falling over and beyond her shoulders. When she spoke she frequently tossed her head, calling attention to her hair and away from her lecture.
Then there was makeup. The first woman wore facial cover that made her skin smooth and pale, a black line under each eye and mascara that darkened already dark lashes. The second wore only a light gloss on her lips and a hint of shadow on her eyes. The third had blue bands under her eyes, dark blue shadow, mascara, bright red lipstick and rouge; her fingernails flashed red.
I considered the clothes each woman had worn during the three days of the conference: In the first case, man-tailored suits in primary colors with solid-color blouses. In the second, casual but stylish black T-shirts, a floppy collarless jacket and baggy slacks or a skirt in neutral colors. The third wore a sexy jump suit; tight sleeveless jersey and tight yellow slacks; a dress with gaping armholes and an indulged tendency to fall off one shoulder.
Shoes? No. 1 wore string sandals with medium heels; No. 2, sensible, comfortable walking shoes; No. 3, pumps with spike heels. You can fill in the jewelry, scarves, shawls, sweaters -- or lack of them.
As I amused myself finding coherence in these styles, I suddenly wondered why I was scrutinizing only the women. I scanned the eight men at the table. And then I knew why I wasn't studying them. The men's styles were unmarked.
THE TERM "MARKED" IS A STAPLE OF LINGUISTIC THEORY. It refers to the way language alters the base meaning of a word by adding a linguistic particle that has no meaning on its own. The unmarked form of a word carries the meaning that goes without saying -- what you think of when you're not thinking anything special.
The unmarked tense of verbs in English is the present -- for example, visit. To indicate past, you mark the verb by adding ed to yield visited. For future, you add a word: will visit. Nouns are presumed to be singular until marked for plural, typically by adding s or es, so visit becomes visits and dish becomes dishes.
The unmarked forms of most English words also convey "male." Being male is the unmarked case. Endings like ess and ette mark words as "female." Unfortunately, they also tend to mark them for frivolousness. Would you feel safe entrusting your life to a doctorette?
Alfre Woodard, who was an Oscar nominee for best supporting actress, says she identifies herself as an actor because "actresses worry about eyelashes and cellulite, and women who are actors worry about the characters we are playing." Gender markers pick up extra meanings that reflect common associations with the female gender: not quite serious, often sexual.
Each of the women at the conference had to make decisions about hair, clothing, makeup and accessories, and each decision carried meaning. Every style available to us was marked. The men in our group had made decisions, too, but the range from which they chose was incomparably narrower. Men can choose styles that are marked, but they don't have to, and in this group none did. Unlike the women, they had the option of being unmarked.
Take the men's hair styles. There was no marine crew cut or oily longish hair falling into eyes, no asymmetrical, two-tiered construction to swirl over a bald top. One man was unabashedly bald; the others had hair of standard length, parted on one side, in natural shades of brown or gray or graying. Their hair obstructed no views, left little to toss or push back or run fingers through and, consequently, needed and attracted no attention. A few men had beards. In a business setting, beards might be marked. In this academic gathering, they weren't.
There could have been a cowboy shirt with string tie or a three-piece suit or a necklaced hippie in jeans. But there wasn't. All eight men wore brown or blue slacks and nondescript shirts of light colors. No man wore sandals or boots; their shoes were dark, closed, comfortable and flat. In short, unmarked.
Although no man wore makeup, you couldn't say the men didn't wear makeup in the sense that you could say a woman didn't wear makeup. For men, no makeup is unmarked.
I asked myself what style we women could have adopted that would have been unmarked, like the men's. The answer was none. There is no unmarked woman.
There is no woman's hair style that can be called standard, that says nothing about her. The range of women's hair styles is staggering, but a woman whose hair has no particular style is perceived as not caring about how she looks, which can disqualify her for many positions, and will subtly diminish her as a person in the eyes of some.
Women must choose between attractive shoes and comfortable shoes. When our group made an unexpected trek, the woman who wore flat, laced shoes arrived first. Last to arrive was the woman in spike heels, shoes in hand and a handful of men around her.
If a woman's clothing is tight or revealing (in other words, sexy), it sends a message -- an intended one of wanting to be attractive, but also a possibly unintended one of availability. If her clothes are not sexy, that too sends a message, lent meaning by the knowledge that they could have been. There are thousands of cosmetic products from which women can choose and myriad ways of applying them. Yet no makeup at all is anything but unmarked. Some men see it as a hostile refusal to please them.
Women can't even fill out a form without telling stories about themselves. Most forms give four titles to choose from. "Mr." carries no meaning other than that the respondent is male. But a woman who checks "Mrs." or "Miss" communicates not only whether she has been married but also whether she has conservative tastes in forms of address -- and probably other conservative values as well. Checking "Ms." declines to let on about marriage (checking "Mr." declines nothing since nothing was asked), but it also marks her as either liberated or rebellious, depending on the observer's attitudes and assumptions.
I sometimes try to duck these variously marked choices by giving my title as "Dr." -- and in so doing risk marking myself as either uppity (hence sarcastic responses like "Excuse me!") or an overachiever (hence reactions of congratulatory surprise like "Good for you!").
All married women's surnames are marked. If a woman takes her husband's name, she announces to the world that she is married and has traditional values. To some it will indicate that she is less herself, more identified by her husband's identity. If she does not take her husband's name, this too is marked, seen as worthy of comment: she has done something; she has "kept her own name." A man is never said to have "kept his own name" because it never occurs to anyone that he might have given it up. For him using his own name is unmarked.
A married woman who wants to have her cake and eat it too may use her surname plus his, with or without a hyphen. But this too announces her marital status and often results in a tongue-tying string. In a list (Harvey O'Donovan, Jonathan Feldman, Stephanie Woodbury McGillicutty), the woman's multiple name stands out. It is marked.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN INCLINED TOWARD BIOLOGICAL EXPLANATIONS of gender differences in language, but I was intrigued to see Ralph Fasold bring biological phenomena to bear on the question of linguistic marking in his book "The Sociolinguistics of Language." Fasold stresses that language and culture are particularly unfair in treating women as the marked case because biologically it is the male that is marked. While two X chromosomes make a female, two Y chromosomes make nothing. Like the linguistic markers s, es or ess, the Y chromosome doesn't "mean" anything unless it is attached to a root form -- an X chromosome.
Developing this idea elsewhere, Fasold points out that girls are born with fully female bodies, while boys are born with modified female bodies. He invites men who doubt this to lift up their shirts and contemplate why they have nipples.
In his book, Fasold notes "a wide range of facts which demonstrates that female is the unmarked sex." For example, he observes that there are a few species that produce only females, like the whiptail lizard. Thanks to parthenogenesis, they have no trouble having as many daughters as they like. There are no species, however, that produce only males. This is no surprise, since any such species would become extinct in its first generation.
Fasold is also intrigued by species that produce individuals not involved in reproduction, like honeybees and leaf-cutter ants. Reproduction is handled by the queen and a relatively few males; the workers are sterile females. "Since they do not reproduce," Fasold says, "there is no reason for them to be one sex or the other, so they default, so to speak, to female."
Fasold ends his discussion of these matters by pointing out that if language reflected biology, grammar books would direct us to use "she" to include males and females and "he" only for specifically male referents. But they don't. They tell us that "he" means "he or she," and that "she" is used only if the referent is specifically female. This use of "he" as the sex-indefinite pronoun is an innovation introduced into English by grammarians in the 18th and 19th centuries, according to Peter Muhlhausler and Rom Harre in "Pronouns and People." From at least about 1500, the correct sex-indefinite pronoun was "they," as it still is in casual spoken English. In other words, the female was declared by grammarians to be the marked case.
Writing this article may mark me not as a writer, not as a linguist, not as an analyst of human behavior, but as a feminist -- which will have positive or negative, but in any case powerful, connotations for readers. Yet I doubt that anyone reading Ralph Fasold's book would put that label on him.
I discovered the "markedness" inherent in the very topic of gender after writing a book on differences in conversational style based on geographical region, ethnicity, class, age and gender. When I was interviewed, the vast majority of journalists wanted to talk about the differences between women and men. While I thought I was simply describing what I observed -- something I had learned to do as a researcher -- merely mentioning women and men marked me as a feminist for some.
When I wrote a book devoted to gender differences in ways of speaking, I sent the manuscript to five male colleagues, asking them to alert me to any interpretation, phrasing or wording that might seem unfairly negative toward men. Even so, when the book came out, I encountered responses like that of the television talk show host who, after interviewing me, turned to the audience and asked if they thought I was male-bashing.
Leaping upon a poor fellow who affably nodded in agreement, she made him stand and asked, "Did what she said accurately describe you"? Oh, yes"," he answered. "That's me exactly"." '"And what she said about women -- does that sound like your wife"? Oh ye"s," he responded. "That's her exactly". Then why do you think she's male-bashing?" He answered, with disarming honesty, "Because she's a woman and she's saying things about men."
To say anything about women and men without marking oneself as either feminist or anti-feminist, male-basher or apologist for men seems as impossible for a woman as trying to get dressed in the morning without inviting interpretations of her character. Sitting at the conference table musing on these matters, I felt sad to think that we women didn't have the freedom to be unmarked that the men sitting next to us had. Some days you just want to get dressed and go about your business. But if you're a woman, you can't, because THERE IS NO UNMARKED WOMAN.
Source: The New York Times Magazine, June 20, 1993 - originally titled "Marked Women, Unmarked Men" by Deborah Tannen
http://nosuture.blogspot.com/
Sometimes you wonder what it is that makes you feel so good. Believe it or not but one of the things that makes a person feeling good, is making someone else happy - doing something that brings a smile or a shout of pleasure to someone else's lips.
There was the little girl who had been sitting listening to the conversations of the mother's bridge club and after they were gone, said to her mother, "Mother let us now talk happy"!
Did you ever realize how much of your conversation - and your thinking - is taken up with harrowing tales about your annoyances, your relatives' annoyances and tragedies, and all the annoyances that go with living with an average husband or wife, or having in a cleaning woman, or going to work, or doing your shopping, or what not?
Many persons get themselves more and more neurotic by constantly indulging in what is often called "post -mortems"; long detailed descriptions, many times retold, of unpleasantness, family rows, and sorrows. How much better it would be for all of us if we would always "talk happy," and so far as possible avoid unpleasant topics. What good does it do to keep constantly going back over the stories of unhappiness?
Drain your mind of the worries, the resentments, irritations, guilt reactions, and annoyances that have collected during the day just as thoroughly as you pull the stopper in the sink.
"Then you can refill it with refreshing thoughts of emotional maturity such as these: "
- You are going to free yourself from fears, anxieties, and tensions.- You find greater satisfaction in giving than in receiving. - You will contribute to the improvement of your home, your community, your nation, and your world. - You seek give-and-take relationships to form. You profit from your mistakes and successes. - You use your leisure time creatively.
Recognize hate for the destructive emotional force that it is. Love is the constructive psychological force of a positive mind. Love resurrects people who have lost life while they live. It is the force that gives new hope, joy, vitality, and invincibility. Those of you who truly want a powerful new lease on life will find it possible through love and a positive mind.
"TIPS ON HOW TO DEAL WITH STRESS"
Source: pickup-and-love.blogspot.com
THE BENEFITS OF USING SELF HYPNOSIS TO STOP OVER EATING IN COMPARISON TO DIETS AND HOW WEIGHT LOSS CAN BE ACHIEVED SUCCESSFULLY.
It could be no shock to you that diets don't work for many people. It's because though we'd like to feel and look greater, there's something inside of us that is telling us to eat. It is telling us to meet that urge to snack and make ourselves comfy for now and concern about tomorrow later.That is precisely the reason that self-hypnosis is becoming one of the essential nicely-favored and efficient methods for dropping weight.
Self-hypnosis creates a state of heightened consciousness and suggestibility the place we are going to affect our behaviors and supply ourselves with submit-hypnotic suggestions. With it you'll be able to tell your internal baby that the street to happiness does not endure food. We are capable of make the choice to shed pounds and actually do it.
To make use of self-hypnosis that will help you to shed weight it is essential to first state clearly and positively in your thoughts what you want after which make a decision to comprehend it. You need to commit the initial session of self-hypnosis to creating this dedication and about your challenges collectively together with your weight.
Not at all have any doubt that you may lose weight.
You may additionally uncover the reasons that you want to lose weight. Whether it's for well being causes or whether or not or not you'll similar to to be extra in form, the reason being as a lot as you. Also think about a motive for shedding weight. Would you wish to have the power to be lively longer you then at the moment are capable of be?
Is it so that you could possibly match into the clothes that you just as soon as cherished? Now decipher the the reason why you overeat, eat the incorrect meals or snack all through meals. How do you feel emotionally when you find yourself eating the issues that you are not presupposed to? What emotional want is overeating filling for you?
It's vitally mandatory that you just perceive that it isn't the self-hypnosis that is going to be the issue that loses weight for you. Once you start hypnotizing your self to drop pounds, your physique just isn't going to magically pace up your metabolism. With self-hypnosis you're changing the best way that you simply think about meals and eating.
You need to have the power to cease that little voice behind your head that tells you that eating that one thing won't make a distinction in your weight. It's attainable so that you can to take management of your unconscious which so desperately needs to regulate your behavior.
If you find self-hypnotizing yourself to drop some kilos, visualize your self making more healthy meals choices. Inform your self that you'll exercise at present, that you'll make the time for it and match it into your schedule. Take into consideration the burden targets that you just want to get hold of and set your ideas to reaching them.
It is for these causes that using self-hypnosis to drop further pounds is so successful. Many occasions being on a weight-reduction plan it is a daily battle to not eat the problems that you just actually want to eat and eat healthier. But with self-hypnosis, you might be changing your considering and leaving the struggles within the past.
Source: umad-dating-advices.blogspot.com
I recently started doing this in a quiet moment. It is very simple exercise I've put together and decided to call "Kinesthetic streaming. "It is similar to a number of other techniques. In doing it the first time I gained some interesting insights into how I think about and use my body.
But first what do I mean by physical intelligence? Well I'm talking about awareness of the structures in the body, bones, muscles, tendons, and visceral organs. Parallel to this is an awareness of emotions, energy and metaphors within the body. Finally there is a linking between awareness of these structures and the ability to move and therefore act, in the world.
I'll describe the exercise, then write a little about some experiences I associate with it and then about some techniques that are similar.
So now THE EXERCISE...
1. Close your eyes
2. Describe to your self your physical sensations, in as much detail and as rapidly as you can. Carry on for from 5-10 minutes.
3. Notice if there are parts of your body that you simply did not notice? Notice any other patterns.
4. Deliberately begin to include those parts of you that are normally outside of your awareness.
5. Re-orient to the outside world.
In doing this you may find you are aware of more than pure feeling. Images, memories, metaphors, synesthesias may well all be woven in. The important thing is that you find yourself discovering more about how you represent your body to yourself, you update your map of your body, you gain faster deeper access to sensation.
The use of words in this exercise act like a bridge between different parts of your mind. They are a focus that helps keep you in the exercise rather than drifting into a daydream. Another consequence is an increase your ability to use words to describe the realm of interior physical space.
For variety you can do this exercise in different postures (sitting, standing, cross legged and whatever else you might want to try). Observe how the postures affect your attention and sensation.
You can also experiment with longer, or shorter periods of practise. The shorter ones could just be a way of checking in with your state in the midst of daily activity.
SOME EXPERIENCES SOURCES AND PARALLELS
When I think of this exercise I remember a conversation I once had with the fool. He explained how he would meet various Yogis and martial artists, and they would talk about qi, or prana or use other names for subtle energy. He often didn't find these people either grounded or practical, and challenged them.
'So you can feel your subtle energy. Mmmmm, now tell me, what is the sensation on the inside edge of the third toe on your left foot. If you can't tell me that, if you not aware of your physical body how can you talk about your subtle body?'
I agree. In martial arts we can talk about qi, but in the beginning it's more helpful to think about, time and measure, angles, momentum and vectors. Once these are clear it's time to get into 'energy'. If you focus on qi without getting past some basic physical training then anyone with a half decent straight left will be quite capable of dishing out a revolutionary experience for you!
Another person I associate with this exercise is a man who I met on an NLP training. The trainers (not me in this case) referred often to paying attention to somatic information - feelings. This man had been trained from an early age in the Cartesian tradition in which somatic information was of no use, an animal illusion.
It is not that he did not have feelings. He just had lost his ability to notice them, or value them. However his thinking mind was still able to notice that the apparently intelligent people around him did have feelings, did value them, and could use them in ways which intrigued, but escaped him.
During a break he confided to me
'These feelings they are talking about, I don't know what they mean. I think that feelings are accessible to women, but not to men.'
I "nearly" choked on my tea. I've spent years immersed in physical awareness, "swimming in kinesthetic" as one person described the experience. It has taken me a some time to balance that strong kinesthetic with other ways of thinking and acting in the world. I am a man and I am aware of feelings - who was he to imply that was impossible, dammnit!
I "didn't" choke on my tea because I recognised that under his blanket statement was a yearning. He recognised somehow that much of his energy was caught up in keeping out the perceived chaos of the body. That meant keeping out much of life at the same time. He chose me to talk to because he recognised me as an exception to "his" rule, and thus a way into a different set of possibilities. I can't remember what I said, and I did not have this exercise to offer then. It will be a regular part of my training from now on.
Kinesthetic streaming is quite similar to self hypnosis exercises where you make statements describing sensory reality, interspersed with suggestions to go into a trance state. One difference is that typically in trance exercises is the rhythm, which is linked with the breath and tends to slow down. In this exercise the idea is to maintain a rapid pace, and no suggestions are involved.
It is also a very similar to Win Wenger's image streaming exercise - in which internal imagery is described as rapidly as possible. Win claims that daily practise of image streaming permanently raise the IQ.
It's too early to say for sure, but I think that regular practise of this exercise may permanently change the way you relate to your body. Since our bodies are the medium through which we experience the world, and through which we act on the world that could mean a lot.
This is a new exercise. I'm interested in how people can use this and develop it. If you decide to try this out I'll be very happy to read about your experiences.
So if you close your eyes now, what do you feel?
When you are ready to take a good look at your life, especially if you are not feeling good or feel that something is missing it may be well worth exploring how your self-beliefs and thoughts hugely influence your emotions, and therefore the emotional quality of your life.
HOW THOUGHTS, BELIEFS & EMOTIONS INFLUENCE YOUR LIFE
If you observe the chart below and follow the green process you'll see that as differing aspects of our life (work, money, relationships etc.) interact with us it causes us to have thoughts about those situations, those thoughts are subsequently compared with the beliefs we have about ourself (some may be true,however, many are false or completely out of date).
If our beliefs are positive and based in good self-esteem we tend to have good (or at least) positive or neutral emotions and these motivate us to take whatever action is necessary. As we know, those who take action are far more likely to get results - some good and some bad, however, because they have high self-esteem, even the bad results, to them, are just an opportunity to learn.
So, the good results continually confirm that they are OK and gently confirms the notion that their way of thinking (and they are) OK, and that they will be OK with whatever life decides to serve them up with. This is a calm and productive place to live, where you have enough motivation and self-worth to be productive and therefore feel that your contribution to life is worthwhile.
RECOGNISE WHEN NEGATIVE THOUGHTS AND BELIEFS HOOK YOU
Now, this time, follow the red route around the circle of emotions. This is the typical thinking cycle of a person suffering from anxiety, stress, worry, fear or who are just stuck in a rut.
They tend to have more negative thoughts running through their minds, these tend to have their roots based in the old self beliefs the person has about themselves, for example:
* "I'm not good enough, tall enough, funny enough, pretty enough... whatever enough"
* "I can't do that..."
* "There's no point even trying..."
* "This always happens to me...."
* "It's not fair...."
* "What if it goes wrong...."
* "What if they don't like me...."
* "What if I embarrass myself..."
* "I can't say no to people...."
* "They are better than me..."
* "Who would want to be with me..."
* "Who would love me..."
* "I can't believe they want to stay with me..."
* "I don't think i'll ever stop feeling anxious..."
These beliefs feel true, however, they are probably not true. Even if they are true there is no logical reason why you should let them ruin your life - all these statements are looking towards other people for confirmation of being good enough or using others as a reference to compare yourself against. It is time to stop looking externally for proof of your worth and time to start changing the way you talk to yourself and time to stop believing the non-stop scary voices in your mind.
1. YOUR THOUGHTS GENERATE YOUR EMOTIONS
The thoughts and stories that race around our mind generate our emotions. It really is as simple as that. Good thoughts about good stories and we feel good, bad thoughts about bad stories and we feel bad!
So, the name of the game is "switching tracks" - jumping from the red path to the green path, and the way you do that is by focusing on the three red highlighted cells.
1. Recognising & changing old out of date self beliefs
Understand that our beliefs were formed when we were young - they were things we learned as we grew up, from parents, teachers, religion, school etc. Very often they were somebody else's beliefs or beliefs that were only meant to be used as a child. Like "don't talk to strangers" that is a good belief for a child, yet a restrictive belief for an adult, especially if you are trying to date.
So many of these self-beliefs operate under the radar cloaked by stories like "well, it's just the way I am" or "I'm just not very good at that." When you go looking for them you can see they are feeble cover up stories generated by the ego and often they are aspects of yourself that you might feel uncomfortable exploring.
When you are ready for personal growth or more specifically, emotional growth, you'll recognise that these self limiting beliefs are flawed, out of date and jsut not true! Sure, you may need to learn some new things, however, that can be
2. BECOMING COMFORTABLE WITH EMOTIONS
Emotions are just emotions - they are feelings that have a story wrapped around them, that keeps on fuelling them. Learning to lean into the fear and being OK with feeling emotions is key to breaking the old cycle. It is the old out of date stories in our mind and the repetitive emotions they provoke that need to be interrupted. Realising that a feeling is just a feeling, it won't kill you. As you befriend emotions it allows you to just be with them, experience them, and let them pass, without getting tangled up in fear or the never ending internal dialogue that surrounds them.
By paying attention to your emotions you can begin to see which emotions are coming to you from an external source - "THEY make me so angry." Or an internal source "I'LL never be able to do that.." I teach people how to let go of the need for external validation and change the internal point of view to one of love and acceptance.
3. TAKE ACTION AND KEEP LEARNING BY DOING
So often, people who suffer from anxiety try to avoid certain situations or circumstances that make them feel uncomfortable, of course, this is understandable, however, it means they are trapped and they keep on getting the same old results or keep mulling ideas over and over in their minds (otherwise known as procrastination.) Becoming more active and decisive (even though it feels uncomfortable) is key to breaking free from this cycle.
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