Rare, but it does exist. I have a dear friend who has never had a broken heart. Something inside her leaves before any damage can be done. I marvel at this. She is not cold and shallow, as one might imagine. She is open and loving. Who does this happen? Most of us have to experience a heart that's been broken, in order to restore us to compassion. At 51, she has avoided this common rite of human passage. She's only experienced men who love her totally, with whom she is also in love and in control. I've witnessed many a person who could benefit from their hearts being broken. They need to feel pain in order to touch that which is real, within. I've also known people who've never been in love. How does one live so many years, and not allow this marvelous vehicle to expand their reality? My friend was born of loving parents, to a loving world that supported her vision. She has instincts that protect her from useless heartache, and provide a natural sense of balance. For the others... the multitudes that have suffered from heartbreak, what's the difference? Is there a need to have the heart be broken? In most cases, I would say yes. When there is no depth of cut, there is no depth. It is the cut that creates the opening. I look at those who cannot feel, cannot connect and cannot appreciate the love they are given. Jaded, unappreciative and entitled, they stand outside the walls of love. Safe, impervious, and strong. What is strong? Is it the ability to not feel, or to feel? If "strong" is that ability to remain unaffected by those around us, perhaps the answer is that we should feel. It's just life. Why not be alive to all the colors, light and dark? It wasn't until my first heartbreak, that I began to understand the impact of love. Until that point in time, I'd safely reaped the merits of being loved without experiencing the pain of loss. Consciousness is a continuum. Once we're awake, there's no going back to sleep. I'd hurt many a man when I was younger and unaware. I now enter relationships aware of the person on the other end-- feeling, processing and attuned to my output. I have a responsibility. I must be as clear and forthright as possible. What's the goal in love? Is it the joy of being loved or the joy of loving? My friend exemplifies a rare case of giving and receiving love without pain. What's her secret? Great parents, Karma or luck? It doesn't matter. This is her reality. My friend is an anomaly. Not affected by the pain of love, she lives in the sunshine of each day. As I marvel at this version of love, I wonder. For which lessons did we sign-up, and for which must we continue? The majority of emails I receive are regarding unrequited love. Why else contact a relationship expert? Unrequited love is woven throughout history. It's the basis of books, movies and songs. Yet what is the reason for its presence? Why do some individuals experience only joyous partnership? In my friend's philosophy, the parameters of partnership are simple and straight forward. "Why be interested in one who isn't interested in us? And, why love someone who isn't able to love us?" Sounds logical. It makes sense. With that easy take on love, why do so many experience a different reality? If this woman is any indicator, it's to highlight the idea that it may not be necessary to feel the pain of love- as long as we can love. Perhaps she has the natural instinct to connect only to those men who are fine human beings; honest, faithful and committed. Perhaps it's because she has only had a few men in her life, but chose them carefully and with the clear intention of being happy. Whatever the reason, she is not the norm. Her life does provide tangible proof that pain doesn't have to be part of the equation. For that reason, I find her intriguing story worth mentioning. Each of us has our own path here- things we've come to learn and things we've come to transcend. Maybe for the unbroken hearts, it's just a different set of lessons. Susan Winter offers cutting-edge information on today's evolving models of love and partnership. Traditional relationship challenges, age-varied couplings and commonly asked dating questions are approached from a higher perspective, allowing readers the best possible romantic outcome. Additional articles and personalized advice can be found on the following site. http://www.susanwinter.net/. View Article Source
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